When I stop

I rarely allow myself to stop and think. When I do I think of everything I've lost, pain I've both felt and caused and everything I've endured...I'm filled with regret and wish I could go back and start all over again.

I'm still not that far removed from intense pain. It crossed my mind today.

I don't think I'm completely fixed. I'm happy now. My life is better. I'm making it work. But it's not easy all the time.

I really do get the ole Holden Caulfield dictum not to tell anyone anything. Just thinking about it all almost hurts too badly.