True Sadness

No one is fine
Peel a few layers and you will find
True Sadness

I do this. I go through these stages where I write these little messages to no one. I'm in one of them right now. Those lyrics speak to me. No one is fine. I believe that. I really do.

It all feels pointless

Why are we doing this? Why are any of us doing this? Someone knows, right? Most people are not asking those questions constantly.

Got upset

Yesterday. Need to keep looking after my mental health. Still struggle with some weird stuff. Take rejection too hard. I'm sensitive to every perceived slight. Not exactly sure how to improve. My plan is just to keep going to therapy...despite the fact that I don't feel like it has helped too much thus far.

She's gone

Give up. Move on. Pull it together, man.

You don't know me at all

I want to get my confidence back. My swagger back. That feeling that I can do anything I set my mind to. Where did that go? How do I get it back?

Death and taxes

I haven't filed my tax returns for 2016. I know. I know. I KNOW. I reached out to my ex-wife about getting a copy of the 2015 return. The response from her assistant:

"I did pass that request on to her and she wanted me to let you know that she and her husband aren't sure why you would need that information and they are not comfortable sending that out. She also says if you are not able to get those records from the government then you can reach out to the divorce attorney. She went on to say that any other future requests should go through her attorney."

They don't make it easy, do they? I have finished the returns but need the gross income from 2015 in order to e-file. Anyway. Seems fucked up.

In Missouri

The last time I was at the lake, it was with her. It's all I can think about while I'm here. It can be a lonely life sometimes. I wish I was stronger. I guess she isn't worried about me. Here. Hiding in the hills from a category 5 hurricane. And I haven't heard from her. I guess I won't. But it's to be expected, I suppose.